cappie15

This is my first time doing this, so I feel sort of embarrassed/shy about doing this.

Okay, so here's my problem:
In the beginning of this school year, I liked this guy named Brandon for a while. But I thought he found me annoying, so I didn't even bother with him anymore. I'm really good friends with his sister and so is another one of my friends.
Anyway, later on when I finally moved on, I started liking this other guy, Robby. He's in a grade lower than mine and we've got to hang out a lot, but he still had a girlfriend at the time and when he finally broke up with her, he told me through text that he likes me.
Then I found out from Brandon's sister that he likes me, a lot. And has for the longest time.
Now, Robby has a history for not being in relationships for very long. He doesn't like being "held down", and I've taken that into consideration. But I told him after he told me that I liked him. And I don't want to seem like I was lying, because I wasn't and lying isn't my thing. And Brandon, so I've heard, will do anything to keep a relationship going. He's quiet, sure, but he's a sweet guy and he seems to be worth it.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to be conceided, or anything like that. I just need to figure out what I should do. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I've noticed that not hurting either one of them is impossible. How can I keep both of their friendships' and not make things awkward between us?

1.  Where did you kiss the last person you kissed?
      I think it was after school. It was raining and my (ex) boyfriend kissed me. Just like the movies.

2.  What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today?
      I actually got some sleep.


3.  How many TRUE best friends do you have?
      I have….4. Kellsey, Andrew, Melissa, and Krystina.


4.  Would you rather get up early or sleep in?
      Sleep.


5.  What are you excited about right now?
      Going skateboarding in L.A. with some of my guy friends.


6.  Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth?
      Cry over the truth. I like to be honest.


7.  What’s on your bedroom floor right now?
      A MESS!


8.  Who’s the last person you got into an argument with?
      Um, some girl that really wasn’t worth my time. She just happened to open her mouth, I just happened to let her have a little taste of how much of a bitch I could be.

9.  Do you trust people?
      Right away? No. Once I get to know them, I sort of do.


10. If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move?
       L.A. I practically already live in California.


11. Your favorite number?
       7

12. Could you go a day without eating?
       Hell no.


13. How much do looks matter to you in a guy/girl?
       Hmm. I’ve never really thought about that.


14. Do you like anybody right now?
        Yes, but the bastard has a girlfriend WHO CLEARLY doesn’t appreciate him.

15. When was the last time you had your hair cut?
       About 3 months?


16. Would you rather be mad or sad?
        Mad. Being sad is a total drag.


17. Does it take a lot to make you cry?
     Hellz yeah! I don’t cry much.


18. What’s the best feeling in the world?
      Friendship.


19. Are you close with your mom?
      Yep.

20. Are your parents strict?
     My mom is pretty lenient. My dad is though.

21. Do you tell your parents everything?
     Not everything. But I tell my mom some stuff.


22. Name some fears you have:
      Heights, spiders

23. Does the thought of marriage scare you?
     Nope.

24. What’s your favorite season?
      Winter.


25. What’s your favorite color to wear?
      Um, every color?

26. Who was the last person in your bedroom?'
      Me. Oh wait…

27. What (WERE) you doing today?
      Got to hang out with this new group of girls. Nice bunch.

28. Do you get bored easily?
      Not really. I usually find something to do.

29. What’s something that someone can do that really bothers you?
      Talk shit. Nuff said.

30. Did you ever want to change your name when you were younger?
      Hell yeah. I still want to.


31. Do you wish you were famous?
      Not really. I don’t think being famous brings happiness.

32. Do you make a wish at 11:11?
      I did once.

33. When you go to the beach do you swim or lay out more?
      Whatever I can.

34. Who’s the last text message you received from and what did it say?
      It was from Tyler saying he wanted me to come over.

35. What are you obsessed with?
      I’m not obsessed with anything.

36. What’s your favorite song at the moment?
      “The Lights and Buzz” by Jack’s Mannequin

37. Do you like going to the mall to shop or just shopping online?
      I never have any money!

38. Can music affect your mood?
      Yeah.

39. What piercings do you want?
      I already have gauges…so I guess my lower lip? If not, oh well.

40. Have you ever been in a cave?
      No.

41. Ever eaten a bug?
      When I was 4, I did.

42. When will you hang out with the person you last kissed next?
      Um…we don’t really talk much anymore.

43. Are you in a good mood?
      Sure

44. Would you rather skydive or bungee jump?
      NEITHER!

45. Do you like snakes?
      No.

46. What’s one place you would like to visit?
      Hm…New York?

47. Do you like waffles?
      No.

48. Does the number 23 have any significance to you?
      No, it’s just a number.

49.  Be honest, do you like people in general?
       Depends.  Some people can be real morons though.

50.  What color are the walls in your bedroom?
       Maroon and like a pearl white

51. Do you think starbucks is expensive?
      Yeah! I mean, it’s good and all but really. Why pay so much for drinks you can’t pronounce correctly?!

52. Are you named after a family member?
      Nah.

53. Wanting to tell someone something?
      YES.

54. Last restaurant you went to?
      Taco Hell.

55.  What is the weather like today?
       Considering its 2:50 in the morning, I’d say it’s pretty cool.

56.  What happened yesterday?
       The usual. Sleep in and watch re-runs of sitcoms.

57.  What would you do with five million dollars?
       Psh, I don’t know.

58. How many hours did you sleep last night?
      Um…well, not enough.

59.  Any upcoming concerts you want to attend?
      WARPED TOUR, BABY!!!

60. Whose the last person that you felt was stalking you?
      Kellsey.

61. Have you ever been on your school’s track team?
      Are you shitting me?!

62. Have you cried today?
      I don’t have anything to cry about.

63. Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
      I can only hope.

64. Does it annoy you when someone says they’ll call, but never do?
      Yeah, to the point where when they actually do call and I don’t answer.

it feels like i haven't been on here for a while. i've been getting grounded over something stupid, busy with finals, or i haven't felt like being in front of the keyboard.
honestly, i don't feel like i should be making this post right now. i feel like i'm not "gifted" (if thats what you want to call it) enough to write what i'm thinking. maybe because 99.9% of the time it doesn't make any sense.

but what i really want is to read something, anything, somewhere that explains what i've been thinking. i've read so many things people have written and it amazes me how they get to the exact point. unfortunately, i'm not able to write these things down and have people say "wow, that girl's going somewhere", because i feel that i won't be going anywhere with my words. my words only make sense to me. i want to have someone write down something that explains everything in a simple e-mail.

i dont feel as if my message is getting across.
i just want to know:

does anybody know what i'm talking about?

I've honestly had enough of all the talk.
I'm finally happy with myself and everything I do and people just come by to RUIN it all for me.
I need friends who will give me hope.
Who will stand up for me.
Who will tell me when I'm wrong and when I'm right.
I just need someone who's willing to comfort me.

I do have friends, but lately, I need someone who doesn't know me so they won't judge me. (Everyone in this town does.)

Anyone?

I finally got my camera fixed, so I'll be able to put up more pictures! Oh yeah, and if anyone wants to talk to me, go right ahead! I love talking to new people!